the beginning of the new me :)

Today I was getting ready for church and even with the help of Spanx, could not fit into my pants. I'm not going to say what size they are, not that i'm embarrassed about it but, because it doesn't matter. I don't want to turn anyone off with a size or a number just yet. I want to focus on HEALTHY and POSITIVE thinking. This is so new for me. I love saying negative things about myself. I figure if I say something negative and point it out, then no one can hurt me with it. Anyway, now that I have rambled on for a bit and completely forgotten where I was going with this, Oh yeah, my pants wouldn't fit. So normally I would have been mad at everyone in my house for even breathing (including the cats because I'm sure that secretly somehow I would blame them too because everyone, including the cats, has conspired to make my pants not fit) but, not today. Today I decided to pull out a bigger size pair of pants and be grateful for the fact that I realize I need to do something before this gets farther out of control.

I am grateful for the POINTS plan of Weight Watchers and although I no longer attend meeting, I began counting my points again today. I did 30 minutes on the elliptical. Now, here's another thing the old me would have done. I normally would decide that I am going to work out 5 times a day and and only eat 200 calories a day. Yeah, I know this is stupid. I am 4 classes away from becoming a Dietetic Technician. So, yeah, I KNOW this is stupid. Not only is it unrealistic but, it sets me up to fail because I could never do it. There's a whole other ball of wax. The old me likes to fail. If I fail then I can stuff my face because why not, I have already blown it. So, although I have a plan, and i need a plan, I know that it has to be realistic and I know that if I falter from this plan it does not mean that I failed. It only means that I took "life on life's terms". It only means that I will make the next right choice so that my life does not get out of hand. So ya see, now plan is to fail and I will temporarily several times I'm sure. But when I do I will embrace it and learn from it, and continue my journey. Because now I have your help and I can do this. So, it begins......

Love, Peace, and don't cook with Grease :)